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Friday, December 18, 2009
MATThematics
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The Flip Side of Judgement
Even Salvadoran martyr Archbishop Oscar Romero wrote:
In reality, few of us appear to have messiah complexes. Few of us try to save ONE, let alone "one more." Why DO we make so many selfish decisions instead of trying to save one more? The simple answer is, "because we're all sinners." Sure, but maybe it's also because we fail to take the long view that Romero recommends, and the paralysis of the problems have already set in. Taking the long view is one prescription for selfish paralysis.It helps, now and then, to step back and take a long view.
The kingdom is not only beyond our efforts,
it is even beyond our vision.We accomplish in our lifetime only a tiny fraction
of the magnificent enterprise that is God's work.
Nothing we do is complete, which is a way of saying
that the kingdom always lies beyond us.
No statement says all that could be said.
No prayer fully expresses our faith.
No confession brings perfection.
No pastoral visit brings wholeness.
No program accomplishes the church's mission.
No set of goals and objectives includes everything.This is what we are about.
We plant the seeds that one day will grow.
We water seeds already planted,
knowing that they hold future promise.We lay foundations that will need further development.
We provide yeast that produces far beyond our capabilities.We cannot do everything, and there is a sense of liberation
in realizing that. This enables us to do something,
and to do it very well. It may be incomplete,
but it is a beginning, a step along the way,
an opportunity for the Lord's grace to enter and do the rest.We may never see the end results, but that is the difference
between the master builder and the worker.We are workers, not master builders; ministers, not messiahs.
We are prophets of a future not our own.
Amen.
There is another prescription that seems counterintuitive. Howard Thurman wrote: "Don't ask what the world needs. Ask, 'What makes me come alive?' and do that, because what the world needs most is people who are fully alive."
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
Judgement and Empathy
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Christians think quite a bit about the afterlife. I'm teaching "Intro to Judaism" right now and we've had a lot of conversations about the Jewish perspective. Most of my students can't comprehend the idea that Jews are frequently agnostic or not that concerned about the afterlife. In addition, Christians mostly think about the afterlife exclusively in terms of heaven and hell. The Bible actually talks a lot more about judgement. It's not clear. God is portrayed as the supreme judge, but Paul also implies that humans may act as subsidiary judges. Also, while the criteria for "salvation" is faith, the judgement is generally described in terms of what one has done, or hasn't done (see Matthew 25, Romans 2). Now, I know Christians have lots of different ways of reconciling all this but I'm less interested in that. C.S. Lewis wrote a little novelette about heaven and hell called The Great Divorce. Lewis was clear that he didn't want it to be taken "literally" but it should also be clear that it wasn't intended to be frivolous or meaningless.
I write the following imagination of judgement with the same intent.
I imagine the experience of judgement to be something like the experience of 20/20 hindsight portrayed at the end of Schindler's List. If you watch that scene, you see Oscar Schindler, a man who rescued many Jews from the fate of the concentration camps come to some tangible realizations about his life. The simple idea is: "I could have done more." Oscar Schindler was a hero, but he didn't do everything he could've done, even knowing that lives were on the line. He stares at a host of people he saved and is broken by the realization that he could very easily have saved more.
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I don't know. I imagine if I could feel what I describe above for even a brief moment right now, after 35 years of life, it would feel like an eternity of anguish. Maybe on some level this would be a gift, preparing me to experience the deepest mercy and grace and to freely live the life that God has in store for us. Maybe there is a deeper mercy too.
"God humbles the proud, but gives grace to the humble"
Maybe the judgement I recieve will correspond to the manner in which I present my life to God.
Perhaps if I have learned the lessons of empathy and humility now, I will present my life (as I understand it) to God as a paltry thing and God will show me the opposite.
Or maybe God presents it all to us, like a performance appraisal.
Suppose we are given a box and the truth of our life can be seen glowing inside it.
The proud one is thrilled, imagining the rewarding experience it will be to open the box and see all that they have accomplished. They firmly and confidently lift the lid and breathe deeply before wilting, curling up into fetal position, gasping and weeping as they are emotionally and psychologically dismantled by the magnitude of their deficiencies.
The humble ones shake and stutters.
"No. I know what's in there. Please just take it away. I can't bear it."
Perhaps to these, God still responds, "You must open it."
They brace themselves and tear it open with gritted teeth, like ripping off a band-aid, but in their humility, their contribution to life is what shines forth. They experience empathy with those who were blessed by their kindness, however small.
I know some people will try to fit all this in to their theological boxes, and others will dismiss it as pious drivel. That's fine I suppose and yes, following Jesus is at the heart of this for me. But my point is that if the heroic Oscar Schindler could take a "do over" he might... I'd like to try it myself. Maybe I'll start now...
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Benefitting from the Doubt
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Have you ever been wrong about someone? Has anyone ever been wrong about YOU?
Both my wife and one of my best friends have often been plagued with others prejudices. It's not a racial thing. They really ARE just misunderstood. The crux of the problem is that they are both good-looking people who happen to be introverts. Therefore, they are judged as aloof and arrogant. People rarely give them the benefit of the doubt. They are certainly not the only ones victimized by prejudices, nor are they the most severely victimized. Being human, they "no doubt" (?) often prejudge others as well. I do.
I vaguely remember a conversation I had with a Russian Orthodox Priest. He had two sage pieces of advice. First, and less relevantly spouses should not try to be accountability partners. Second, and more relevantly, he quoted an Orthodox Saint who had suggested that to truly forgive someone, the forgiver should try to come up with a humane excuse for why the offender behaved as they did. This is one way of giving the benefit of the doubt. It is assuming that there is some perfectly humane reason why someone behaves badly. At my church, we sometimes say, "Hurting people hurt people." A humorous essay on the male perspective offers this "rule" to women: "If we say something, and there are two ways you could take it, and one of them makes you mad, we meant the other way." That's a step in the right direction.
Taking self-doubt (and faith?) a bit further, we might become agnostic about the thing that leads to our judgement. This is to say, "I doubt that I know why this person is the way they are, but I take on faith that they are a person of immeasurable value and complexity. Certainly, there is a humane reason for their actions (however deplorable) and they are not innately worse than I." The benefit of the doubt does not suggest that we entrust ourselves to those that have hurt us, or even reduce guilt in many circumstances. It only asks that we don't assume the worst about them.
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What about our relationships with God. Can they benefit from doubt? Indeed. C.S. Lewis and Fyodor Doestoyevsky have both written about scenarios in which God goes on trial. No doubt Job had the idea first. But doesn't faith demand that we give God the benefit of the doubt? I would suggest that if the God you claim doesn't deserve this benefit, then you should leave aside the worship of that "God" until you can imagine a God that does deserve it. That one is God.
Sufjan Stevens, writing "Vito's Ordination Song" in the voice of God offers these lyrics:
"To what I did and said, rest in my arms, sleep in my bed. There's a design.
To what I did and said..." As incomprehensible as many apparent "acts of God" (or God's non- intervention in acts of incomprehensible tragedy) might be, if God is God, might the benefit of the doubt include these things?
For those of us who offer God the benefit of the doubt without reservation, and desire it for ourselves, it is time to offer it to those around us who are created in God's image.
Is this a Pollyanna ploy for naivete? I hope it is intentional wisdom for healthy living.
When can we move beyond doubt? When we know fully, even as we are fully known.
Thursday, October 8, 2009
The Mercy of Divine Pranks
(Mind that in college my best friends & I shot each other with homemade blowdarts. Guy stuff.)
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The Christian response is that God is everywhere. We call this "omnipresence."
However, most Christians also believe that God is more fully manifest in some other realm than the one that is apparent to us every day.
So, where is the realm of God's more complete manifestation?
At this point I think most Christians would say, "I have no idea."
That sounds like the best answer to me.
Other answers might include something about a "spiritual realm."
Fair enough. I think I generally imagine a multi-dimensional universe, most of which eludes us, and some dimension/s of which is the "place" (if we can call it that) that allows fuller communion between God and the world. I believe someday that dimension will break in on this one in a unprecedented "revelation." I'm not sure I would call it the "spiritual realm," because that seems to imply that the world we live in is not spiritual while I think of it as more integrated.
Simpler question: Does anyone think that the realm of God (or "heaven") is "up"?
If we could just travel vertically far enough, trangressing solar system, galaxy, etc. would we get there? I hope most Christians would say "no." Again, I think that's the best answer.
That being the case, here's a harder question:
Why did Jesus "ascend" into the heavens at the end of his physical time on earth?
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Funny, but its not a matter of what I would "want him to do."
Let me suggest another answer.
If Jesus had sort of disappeared (In the manner of Star Trek "beaming") to "break on through to the other side" that would have communicated impermanence to his disciples, when he had just told them, "I am with you always."
Based on limited research, I think most pre-moderns did imagine that "up" was the direction to go to get to the realm of God/s, from Babel, to Mt. Sinai, to Mt. Olympus, to sun, moon and star worship, "up" seemed like the logical direction to direct worship, or to locate the presence of the divine, though obviously, this was far from exclusive.
So, when Jesus ascended, God was doing something that humans could understand. I'm suggesting that it was a concession to the particular human finitude of that time, as well as being a slightly theatrical way of communicating majesty. It wasn't a cruel "prank." It was a sort of "divine sleight-of-hand."
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Would it honor God if we insisted that traveling vertically from Israel at a particular point in the earth's rotation and orbit (and who knows what else?) would ultimately get us to the throne of God?
I don't know anyone who thinks that, but are there other things that we are still clinging to, when it would now please God if we let go?
Maybe God really wants us to "get it" and stopped whacking ourselves in the back of the head.
Sunday, October 4, 2009
The Gospel According to Gran Torino
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Thursday, October 1, 2009
Connecting to God - II
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In college a friend of mine and I decided we would spend (I think it was 20 minutes) meditating each day. This posed 3 problems. First was finding a quiet place of solitude. My apartment was completely out of the question. The library was a pretty social place sometimes. BUT, in the basement of the college building next door there was a rarely used classroom and an almost never used restroom. I had my spots! This leads to the second problem, which was my narcolepsy. I am not clinically diagnosed, but I have fallen asleep in the car at red-lights (never on the motorcycle, which is why I may be the only person for whom a motorcycle is actually a safer mode of travel).
I tried the classroom first. Walked in, closed the door, sat down at a desk and discovered problem 3: I had no idea what I was doing. I just sort of tried to quiet myself, figuring that meditation could not be just praying (talking to God), nor could it be reading something thoughtful and thinking about it. Of course it could have been, but I didn't think so at that point.
I woke up in the dark, embarrassed but alone. I waved my arms around to get the motion detector to turn the lights back on and left.
For my second attempt, the next day, I entered the restroom, entered the single stall in the restroom, put the seat-cover down and settled into what I thought might be a good meditating position.
This time, when I woke up, it was pitch black and I didn't know where I was. I waved my arms around but since I was in the stall, nothing happened. Then I stood up and ran into each wall of the stall before I came to my senses, managed to feel my way to freedom and gave up on "meditating."
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Interestingly, the bathroom is still the primary place I go to make a brief connection with God every day. It is really the only place where my children MIGHT respect my privacy and need for quiet. It also has a fan, which creates great white noise. I no longer have the narcolepsy issue in the same way, though occasionally it still strikes.
The following "advice" could make me sound like a "real spiritual person" but I assure you...
Well, lets put it this way... I didn't really do any of the following this morning and when Beth got up, she looked at me and asked: "Are you mad about something?" The nice thing about being alive is that there is always another day to get some small thing right - like in Groundhog Day.
My daily connection with God usually amounts to 4 things.
In the morning:
1. Try to be aware of God's presence. This often involves willing myself to belief that God is truly everywhere, no less in my bathroom than in my favorite church or on my favorite hiking trail. It involves rejecting an impulse to look upward for God or to direct my thoughts in some direction.
2. Submit my day. I say something like: "God, take my life today to use as you will. Free me from bondage to self so that my life will show others your love, your power, and your way of life.
Give me wisdom and insight to know you, sense your presence and do your will."
3. Read something thoughtful and think about it. For me this means scripture or something related to scripture.
At night:
4. Thank God for the day and recite either the 23rd Psalm, the Lord's Prayer or something else I have committed to memory, until I fall asleep.
You could also build other connection points into your day:
1. Make it a habit of connecting to God as you go in or out your door. Religious Jews often keep a text of scripture in a small box or mezuzah, that they touch upon entering or leaving. You could buy one or create your own practice. Think to yourself "Let's go!" as a way of reminding yourself that you aren't leaving God at home. Your family members or mates might also appreciate it if you reminded yourself upon arriving at home, that God is still with you all.
Put meaningful statements on your dashboard, refrigerator or bathroom mirror.
2. While you're waiting for anything. Why not just offer up your anxiety or impatience? Some people like the serenity prayer: "God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference."
3. With friends (and maybe enemies). C.S. Lewis, keeping in mind the idea of being created in the image of God, said, "You will never meet a mere mortal." I certainly experience God through other people, whether they know it or not. When you are with other people, briefly invite God to be present also. God IS present. Inviting God is just a way of reminding us and setting our mind to the "welcoming" position.
4. Taking a breather. Is it possible that the frenetic pace we keep is less productive than a pace that allows us to step back, breathe and say a b'racha before we continue?
5. Twitter God. Just whatever you might feel like saying. God can handle it. Your friends might not "get it" but who cares? It might be the most interesting twitter all day. If you don't Twitter (I don't) just write whatever you might want to say to God in reply to the most annoying spam email of the day. The point isn't to publicize, and certainly God knows what's going on with us. The point is to be mindful of God by actively directing our thoughts to God at various points in the day.
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I hope some of this inspires you to set the bar LOW. You don't need to "meditate" for 20 minutes a day. Maybe someday you'll want to (and so will I), but it is said that God says:
"When a child of mine comes to me walking, I am already running."
and:
"The Lord knows how we are formed, he remembers that we are dust."
Give yourself, your loved ones and the world a gift today by trying to make some sort of connection to God.
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Connecting with God - Part I
"Blessed are you God, King of the Universe, who... (brings forth bread from the ground, creates the fruit of the vine (wine) ...etc.)" There is a b'racha to be recited before virtually everything.
A.J. Jacobs is/was a secular journalist who wrote the Year of Living Biblically, in which he decides to try to follow every command in the Bible as literally as possible for a year. One small piece of this is gratitude. In a fascinating video/talk, Jacobs describes the way the consistent practice of giving thanks has transformed his life and turned him into a "reverent agnostic" as well as a more grateful person. The question has been posed: when an atheist feels just generally grateful, to whom does the atheist give thanks?
I believe that connecting to God on a daily basis is part of the whole health of a human being.
We are selfish creatures in my experience... Okay, fine. I'm a selfish creature. I need to connect to something outside myself to awaken me to the fact that I am not the center of the universe.
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My desire is to try to be a more equal partner with God in God's animation of my life.
By partner, I mean that I would not be working against (passively OR actively) God's purposes, but for them. By "more equal" I mean that maybe instead of a 1,000,000/1 ratio of God's work to my partnership, maybe we could reach a 1,000,000/2 ratio (which would double my personal investment). But achieving this takes "mindfulness;" a conscious attention to God's presence and a discerning of what role I might play in God's will for a situation.
One way of being mindful is the ongoing practice of looking for things for which I can be grateful.
Today I had each member of my class say a b'racha in introduction: "Blessed are you God, King of the Universe, who... (gives me great friends, has given me a great family, gives us coffee...)
As I look out my window right now it is my favorite time of day. The sun is low and shining which gives all the green things a glowing emerald appearance. I will go outside to say this b'racha.
What are you grateful for? Wouldn't the world be a better place if we were only a tiny bit more grateful?
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Saturday, September 26, 2009
Evolution of a lifter - III
Evolution of a Lifter - II
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Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Motorcycle Diary
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I got rained on a bit on the way down but the first 5 hours were cool. Hour six? My butt was killing me. This bike is a single cylinder 650, which means it vibrates quite a bit, and not a big comfy cruising bike in any case.
On the way back I decided to take a slightly different route. It was more "direct" but off the interstate. And it was raining again but about 15 degrees colder.
An hour and a half into my trip the bike started to "stutter" and backfire. Uh-oh.
"Please just let me get to a gas station."
Nope. It got bad enough that I pulled over and turned it off and tried to look the bike over.
Two small pieces of info:
1. I'm not mechanical. I tried reading "Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance" one time and I thought the writer was jerk.
2. Beth and I are sharing a cell-phone right now and it was her turn.
So, I'm broken down on the side of the road, in intermittent rain, in approximately the middle of nowhere, without a phone. So I pray, "Okay God, let's see how you're going to work this one out."
You know what? People don't stop anymore. I'm sure part of it is the whole "biker" thing, but there's something else. Since "everyone" has a cell phone, a person on the side of the road is probably just waiting for their.... whatever they called for.
I decided that the best case scenario was someone in a truck or pulling an empty trailer who would be willing to take me and my bike to the nearest bike shop, where I would sit all day (and hopefully not into the next day) until they got me fixed up and going.
I wanted to maintain my dignity though so my strategy became sitting sideways on my bike facing the road (12 inches from my boots) and waving casually whenever a likely truck drove by.
After about 30-40 minutes of this, a truck turned around and pulled in behind me and a young guy about 21 years old leaned out and asked if he could give me a ride somewhere.
I told him my situation and he offered to drive me up to the nearest gas station, which was better than the side of the road so...
It turned out he had a friend who worked at a cycle shop and he got his friend on the phone. The shop was closed but his friend said he'd drive out and take a look at the bike saying "We can't just leave you stranded."
After running a a quick errand with my new friend we met back at the bike. His friend was there, fiddled around with it, tightened one screw and it was fixed. I offered to buy them lunch but they turned me down casually, smiled at my gratitude and drove away.
Thanks Luke and Paul!
"For I was a stranger" and you cared for me.
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
The Nature of Our Beliefs
On Saturday night we watched EXPELLED, with comedian Ben Stein, who is a Jewish theist (I don't know if he is "practicing" or not). The goal of this movie is to show how atheistic Darwinism has squelched free inquiry and operates today from a premise about the origin of life that is unprovable. I think most theists will want to cheer.
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Neither movie attempts to be unbiased, but here is one fascinating aspect. Both men relate passionately to the suffering of the Holocaust and each places the primary blame on the other's side. So, Maher says it was a religious atrocity, or at least religious believers were the ones committing the majority of atrocious acts. Stein says that Darwinism was the underlying and driving theoretical basis of the Holocaust.
Both men seem right about the Holocaust which in part confirmed for me, a belief I've had for several years.
Here it is: I believe that most people believe what they WANT to believe.
This statement is circular. I can't even begin to prove it, and it applies equally to the belief I just stated and to me as much as anyone else. We all could cite examples that appear to contradict this, but I believe that the exceptions prove the rule.
SO… let me explain.
1. Most people do not have the time to really pursue the answers to most questions to great depth. This is true even for intellectual people who like to read and even for experts in one field who don’t have time to really become experts in another field.
2. Most people rely for their answers on human authorities who DO have the time to research their questions; "experts" that we come to trust. I don't think this is necessarily a bad thing, but reading a book by an expert makes us feel like experts, even if the book was only written by someone who read other experts’ books instead of doing their own research.
3. Most of these experts started the same way we do and ultimately came to their conclusions because they already had a position that they had arrived at through the influence of someone who was an expert first; a “professor” so-to-speak.
4. In choosing reliable human authorities, we usually gravitate towards those who confirm what we already believe, unless we are somehow dis-satisfied with our current beliefs, then we gravitate towards those who (like us) might be critical of our current beliefs. That doesn’t mean that the arguments aren’t rational but that we probably start with some sort of commitment (we could say “faith”) before we have our good arguments. Religious dogma or scientific method, it doesn’t matter.
“You cannot criticize any claim to truth except on the basis of a truth that you claim, and with respect to which you suspend criticism.” Lesslie Newbigin
5. There are BRILLIANT people on both sides of most issues: A/theism. Creation/Evolution. Biblical Truth/Historical Criticism. Republican/Democrat. War/Peace. Homosexual Marriage/NO Homosexual Marriage. GrantCitizenship/Deport-&-Build-a-Wall. Jet Li/Bruce Lee. Half-full/Half-empty. Haveyourcake/Eatittoo.
6. Since we can’t really research both sides to the necessary depth, we have to settle down with belief of some expert; probably the one we agreed with at the start. Maybe we forge a half-way-between belief or agnosticism about the issue, but it doesn't really matter.
7. The belief we settle on is the one that is most APPEALING to us, at that point in time and the appeal of the belief is NOT the result of our own cogent reasoning or research.
8.It most likely has to do with perceived self-interest of some kind. In other words, its about what I want deep down. This want might be subconscious, it might be a matter of connection or distance (ie. I want to feel that I am a part of my: family, nation, party, church, social group OR I want to distance myself from these), it might be sexual (I want the belief that allows me the most freedom), or it might be financially motivated. That doesn't mean that the position is irrational. Wanting our view of the world to remain intact, is rational. So is wanting to change our life if it's unpleasant. However, in all of these cases the prime motivator for belief is not a commitment to reason, facts or certainty (which may be over-rated anyway).
9. We may believe that we believe something because of a real experience that we have had, but why did we interpret our experience in such a way that it confirmed or refuted a particular belief? For instance, I believe that the spirit of God can reveal things to people. I have had experiences to confirm my belief in God, but my belief in God preceded the experience and shaped my interpretation. Again, that’s not bad. That’s just the way it is, 99+% of the time; even for experts and scholars and comedians. People may claim to have undeniable experiences, but I wager that undeniability has as much to do with desire as reason. Even in the Bible, people who have direct encounters with God, doubt.
10. Nonetheless, some things are true and others are not. Conversions and paradigm changes do happen, for good or for ill. Some experts and comedians are right. Others are wrong. Therefore, so are we. That’s why we have to be careful! I believe in believing, and reading and even arguing and advocating. But if I’m right, then the crucial question isn’t: “How do I know my belief is right?” but, “How do I know if my wants are right?”
Saturday, July 18, 2009
MEN (MANLY MEN)
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Friday, July 3, 2009
Responsible Citizenship
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Wednesday, July 1, 2009
Proud to be an American?
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"Join with others in following my example, brothers, and take note of those who live according to the pattern we gave you." Philippians 3:17
6Who, being in very nature God,
did not consider equality with God something to be grasped,
7but made himself nothing,
taking the very nature of a servant,
being made in human likeness.
8And being found in appearance as a man,
he humbled himself
and became obedient to death—
even death on a cross!
Saturday, June 27, 2009
Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness
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We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. ("...by which is meant the right to pursue any lawful business or vocation, in any manner not inconsistent with the equal rights of others, which may increase their prosperity or develop their faculties, so as to give to them their highest enjoyment." - U.S. Supreme Court Associate Justice Stephen Johnson Field 1883)
Life:
“Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.”
Matthew 10:39 and 16:25, Mark 8:35, Luke 9:24 and 17:33
"Do not fear those who kill the body but are unable to kill the soul; but rather fear Him who is able to destroy both soul and body in hell.” Matthew 10:28
Liberty:
"Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. Matthew 11:29 (Note: “yoke” in the Bible is always a euphemism for slavery and servitude)
“You, my brothers, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the sinful nature ; rather, serve one another in love.” Galatians 5:13
Happiness:
“And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. 3Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4perseverance, character; and character, hope.” Romans 5:2b-4
3`Happy the poor in spirit -- because theirs is the reign of the heavens.
4`Happy the mourning -- because they shall be comforted.
5`Happy the meek -- because they shall inherit the land.
6`Happy those hungering and thirsting for righteousness -- because they shall be filled.
7`Happy the kind -- because they shall find kindness.
8`Happy the clean in heart -- because they shall see God.
9`Happy the peacemakers -- because they shall be called Sons of God.
10`Happy those persecuted for righteousness' sake -- because theirs is the reign of the heavens.
11`Happy are ye whenever they may reproach you, and may persecute, and may say any evil thing against you falsely for my sake --
12rejoice ye and be glad, because your reward [is] great in the heavens, for thus did they persecute the prophets who were before you.
Matthew 5:3-12 (Young’s “Literal” Translation)